If you find yourself overthinking and worrying about what people think of you, you’re not alone. You tell yourself not to care what people think, but you still do.
- You replay conversations.
- You wonder if you said the wrong thing.
- You think about how you came across, long after it’s over.
And even when nothing went wrong, it still sits with you.
Why you care so much?
Caring what people think isn’t a weakness. It often comes from:
- Wanting to be liked.
- Avoiding judgement.
- Feeling responsible for how others experience you.
For high-achieving women, overthinking what people think can become a quiet pressure to get everything right.
Signs you may be overthinking what people think of you
- Replaying conversations in your head.
- Worrying you said something wrong.
- Over-apologising.
- Adjusting yourself depending on who you’re with.
From the outside, it looks like you’re thoughtful, inside, it feels like pressure.
Why it’s hard to stop?
You can’t just switch this off, because your mind is trying to protect you. If it believes getting things wrong leads to judgement, it will keep analysing even when you don’t want it to.
Try this approach
Instead of trying to “stop caring”, try shifting your focus.
From:
What do they think of me?
To:
How did I feel about how I showed up?
It’s subtle, but it changes where your attention goes.
How therapy can help
Therapy can help you:
- Feel more grounded in yourself
- Reduce second-guessing
- Build self-trust
- Feel less affected by perceived judgement
If you struggle with overthinking or worrying about what people think, therapy can help you feel more at ease in yourself.
You can learn more about how I work or get in touch here: https://www.esperotherapycork.ie/contact/
You might also find this helpful “How Hypnotherapy helps with anxiety” https://www.esperotherapycork.ie/hypnotherapy-cork-anxiety/